GORDO

Luis, el hombre que no cabía de lo gordo, ni de lo pesado, ni de nada, reflexionaba:
'Estuvimos ambos en un mismo espacio, fuimos uno.
Estuvimos ambos en un mismo tiempo, fuimos uno.
Somos uno y no entiendo qué significa no serlo'
No existe tal cosa como un tiempo y un espacio indiscriminado
si ambos están en choque y contradicción
cómo quieres no tomar partido.
Qué tristeza,
si al final todos nos enteramos todo:
una terrible invención de nuestra pereza.
Imposible ir más allá, dijo Uno.
Imposible ser condicionados, dijo otro.
Pero Luis, que no cabía de lo gordo,
tornaba pálido como cero:
Agotado discierno mejor.
Hemos vivido del recuerdo de días que jamás pasaron. Se concentraron en la pipeta pero nunca en la madrugada que los iba soslayando como crines consumidos en el viento espectral de la zona pútrida. Hasta este punto hemos llegado. Marilyn en las mañanas se pone sus vaqueros, el rayo del sol con sevicia le razga sus ojos rayados. Rojos de padecimiento y pasión, recoge la mierda con que el gordo le ha pagado. Se aflige como una puta que anda por frases sin ser encontrada en sí misma, como un sexo fortuito y pagado. Una vida que se condena y juzga, sin esperar más que el beso asustado y candoroso del marinero que viaja por océanos y valles a su encuentro. Es la nostalgia prostituida de una mulata despreciable aquella que abarca la amargura en el rostro plebeyo de Marilyn sin su Brasil al lado. En Brasil las cosas fueron diferentes, siempre distintas. Ella, reina y ama de la casa. Ella, el calor de la noche y los días que albergaban la humedad del noble cuartico en que hacía las delícias del fascinante Marinero. Me parece llorar y quedar ciego. El mundo no dispone más para mí, sin otra historía que la de su propia desintegración en renuencia sosobrada. No hablar más fue lo que tuve en esos días en que ella se prostituía por la sed del Marinero, con boca siempre salada y ojos siempre brillantes, a la expectativa del sabor de sus pechos homosexuales. Una fuerte ruina en su boca nos hace pensar que tiene algo más que ocultar delante. Él andar de muerto lo delata, abre la noche y parte al momento más oscuro de la ciudad. Todos sabemos a qué va a su encuentro: demonios y prostitutas le reciben, lo horrible es su compañia, confluye en gritos y espantos, danzas espasmodicas que se conciben como ritmo y convulsión.

prophesy - Nitin Sawhney

Technology is a drug.

We can’t get enough of it.

We feed it to our kids and watch them grow on a forced diet of desensitization. Switch on the T.V and someone will tell you 50,000 people died in India. Two seconds later you’re watching a comedy. Technology can do that. It gives us simulated realities that make us oblivious to the real world. Heroin does the same thing. So do most class A drugs. Basically, we are all addicts – addicted to the comfort and convenience that technology provides – addicted to the notion that progress is directly related to the size of your computer screen. Of course it is. We must be right. We come from the developed world. We’re already developed. Sure. Then again, wealthy kids in America shoot each other. Poor kids in Soweto can’t stop smiling.

So who’s developed?

I met an aborigine in Arnhemland, Australia – his nephews showed me symbols where I saw trees and rainbows through smoked glass. They could see fish through clouded water. I couldn’t even see my own reflection. I must have forgotten how.

When I look in front of me, I see two paths – spiritual or material. Two worlds – developed or developing. You decide which is which. We’re still in the wake of millennium paranoia – earthquakes, floods, end of world scenarios, cult suicides, viral diseases that eat into our computer realities. This is our developed world.

Then, as Nelson Mandela says ‘We are free to be free’

I guess we make our own prophecies.

Nitin Sawhney - March 2001

Excerpt from the movie Waking life

Hey man, what are you doing here?
I fancy myself a social lubricator of the dream world. Helping people become lucid a little easier. You know, cut all that fear and anxiety stuff and just rock and roll.
By becoming lucid you mean just knowing that you`re dreaming, right?
Yeah. And then you can control it. They are more realistic and less bizarre than non-lucid dreams.
You know, I just woke from a dream. It wasn`t a typical dream, it seemed more like I`d walked into an alternate universe or something.
Yes, that`s real. I mean, technically it`s a phenomenon of sleep, but you can have so much damn fun in your dreams. And of course everyone knows fun rules. What was going on in your dream? Uh, a lot of people, a lot of talking. You know, some of it was kind of absurdist, like from a strange movie or something, mostly just people going off about whatever really intensely. I woke up wondering where did all this stuff come from?
You can control that you know.
Do you have these dreams all the time?
Hell, yeah. I`m always going to make the best of it. But the trick is, you got to realize that you`re dreaming in the first place. You got to be able to recognize it. You got to be able to ask yourself, hey man, is this a dream? See, most people never ask themselves that when they`re awake, or especially when they`re asleep . Seems like everyone`s sleep-walking through their waking state, or wake-walking through their dreams. Either way, they`re not going to get much out of it. The thing that snapped me into realizing I was dreaming was my digital clock, I couldn`t really read it. It`s like the circuitry was all screwed up or something.
Yeah, that`s real common. And small printed material is pretty tough too. Very unstable. Another good tip-off is try and adjust the light levels. You can`t really do that. If you see a light switch nearby, turn it on and off and see if it works. That`s one of the few things you can`t do in a lucid dream. But what the hell. I can fly around, have an interesting conversation with Albert Schweitzer, and explore all these new dimensions of reality, not to mention I can have any kind of sex I want which is way cool. So I can`t adjust light levels. So what?
That`s like one of the things that you do to test if you`re dreaming or not, right?
Yeah, like I said, you can totally train yourself to recognize it. I mean just hit a light switch every now and then. If the lights are on, and you can`t turn them off, then most likely you`re dreaming. And then you can get down to business. And believe me, it`s unlimited. Hey, you know what I`ve been working on lately?
What`s that?
Oh man, it`s way ambitious, but I`m getting better at it. You`re going to dig this. 360 vision man. I can see in all directions. Pretty cool, huh?
Yeah. Well, I got to go man.
Okay, later man. Super profundo on the early eve of your day.
See you later dude.